Gotta love these

Bumper Sticker Humor for Today
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
All generalizations are false.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Born free...Taxed to death.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Driver carries no cash. He's married
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
He who hesitates is probably right.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Hit me, I need the money!
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
HUG A LOGGER--you'll never go back to trees
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I brake for no apparent reason.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
I love cats...they taste just like chicken..
i souport publik edekashun.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
I'm happily married - but my wife isn't.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
It wasn't actually a divorce - I was traded.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
No radio - Already stolen.
OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
SUPPORT BINGO--keep Grandma off the streets
Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt--in case heaven is like the IRS..
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.